Navigating rejections - Those No’s that built me.

✨ Dev Shorts #3 - short and meaningful.

Hey,

Hope you are doing well!

I’m back with a new topic from the ✨ Dev Shorts collection. This time, I want to address a challenging subject—one that can make us feel small, undervalued, and unqualified: REJECTION.

I used to fear the word no or anything with that meaning. That short, sharp syllable has confronted me in job applications, performance reviews, code reviews, and even in moments when I shared my ambitions too soon.

However, over time, I've come to realize something important: rejection is not the end. In fact, it often opens doors to new opportunities and valuable learning experiences.

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The rejection that stayed with me for a while.

I still remember one specific job interview.

I thought the interview went well—it was the kind of company I had always dreamed of working for, and I had even begun to imagine my career there. When the rejection email came, I kept rereading it, looking for any hint of why. What I found instead was self-doubt creeping in.

I wasn’t just doubting that opportunity. I was doubting myself and my technical experience.

And yet… that no pushed me to take inventory of my skills, to strengthen my technical storytelling, and to start building something I actually cared about. A few months later, I had built a strong interview strategy, improved my visibility and communication, and focused on the skills that truly mattered — all of which helped me secure multiple job offers.

That no became one of the most powerful yes’s I’ve ever received — a quiet yes toward my own growth.

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Why rejection is a developer's secret mentor

In tech, rejection is inevitable.

But what if we shift our mindset around it towards a feedback loop ?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Feedback > Failure

  Every rejection contains information. Sometimes explicit (e.g., “we were looking for more experience with X language / technology / tool”), and sometimes subtle (e.g., stumbling in a system design question). Either way, it shows you what to refine. And if it’s not there … don’t be afraid to ask for it. Raise your questions even after the process has ended.

• Rejection builds resilience

  There’s a kind of confidence that only comes from getting back up. As developers, we’re taught to “fail fast” in code — but not always in careers. Resilience is a very important skill.

• Redirection can be a gift

  Some of the best decisions in my career followed rejections. I didn’t land that job, so I started a side project. I wasn’t chosen there, so I took a role where I could actually scale frontend architectures — which is now one of my specialties and passions.

• Clarity takes time

  Sometimes, rejection just shows you what you didn’t actually want. It reveals your non-negotiables, your values, and the kind of work you’re meant to do.

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How to process rejection with growth in mind

Here’s what helped me — and might help you too:

1. Pause before you spiral.

   Take a breath before you let the inner critic take the mic. Take a walk, go to the gym, read a book or spend your time with people that value you.

2. Journal the experience.

   What went well? What would you do differently? What patterns do you see? What can I learn from it? What can I improve?

3. Ask for feedback.

   Even if they don’t reply — the act of asking shows growth. (And soemtimes, you might get valuable information.)

4. Talk to other devs.

   Rejection feels isolating, but it’s wildly common. The more we share, the more we normalize it.

5. Keep building.

   Ship that side project. Strengthen your storytelling and communication. Learn from other by reading articles or joining meetups. Focus on continuous learning.

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Final thoughts

Rejection is never easy.

But I am here to say: every no I’ve heard has shaped me.

Each one added a new skill, a layer of empathy, grit, or clarity that made me a stronger developer — and a more grounded human.

So if you’re currently facing a difficult experience, take a moment to acknowledge your efforts and give yourself some kindness.

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.

It means you're in motion. You’re learning. You’re evolving.

And sometimes, those no’s are just a longer route to the yes that truly fits.

Until next time 👋,

— Stefania

👋 Get in touch

Feel free to reach out to me here on Substack or on LinkedIn.